I once met with a new couple who had just come to Dallas from California. The woman wanted a beach house (light, airy, and a little on the feminine side), but the man wanted a home that looked like the bar at The Mansion on Turtle Creek: dark, rich, and very masculine.
Designing a beautiful living space for yourself is challenging enough. When you need to accommodate a significant other, it’s doubly difficult. But don’t be discouraged if you and your partner like completely different things. Even professional interior designers like myself rarely decorate a whole home in a single style. Below, you’ll find my personal tips for combining styles with your partner.
1. Assign Roles
If you aren’t hiring a professional, decide on how you want to split the work for the project. Does one person want to be the main decision-maker and shopper? Does one of you want to only be consulted on key decisions? This system works best if one person in the relationship is much more invested than the other. If you are the designated shopper, I do think it’s always good to ask the other person before you buy something. Your partner might also appreciate being shown a few options for an item first.
2. Search for Inspiration
Working with that couple from California who were moving into University Park, I suggested that the two of them should shop together for an interior design book that they both liked. They eventually found a book with “beach-y” homes and marked a lot of pages to share with me for inspiration. My advice to most couples moving in together for the first time is to look through interior design books and magazines, separately, to see what catches their eye.
Another method is to make a Pinterest board and pin pictures of rooms you like. Ask your partner to point out what they like in the photos they chose. If your partner likes something that you don’t, politely explain why it doesn’t work for you. Art seems to be one of the harder things for most couples to agree upon. It’s more personal than fabrics, sofas, or rugs.
There is no need to pick a single theme for the whole house. Instead, try to find common ground in color choices, materials, and furniture styles, then figure out what will look complementary together. Over time, you should start to see some patterns emerging. If the two of you end up liking styles that are completely opposed to each other, then you may need an interior designer to help you combine those looks.
3. Choose Your Color Palette
The next step is to build a complementary color palette by picking one main color and two accent colors together. If you’re going for a monochromatic look, your three choices should all be different shades of the same color. Having an intentional color scheme makes it easier to decide what stays in and what goes out.
These colors can inform your wall color choices, trim color choices, floor color choices, and the colors you choose for upholstery and accessories. Neutral paint colors can serve as an unobtrusive backdrop for a variety of different pieces.
4. Discuss Your Must-Have Items
Next, it’s time to go through each of your belongings to see what will fit into the new house. Speak up if an item contains a lot of sentimental value for you, such as a family heirloom. Ask your partner if there are certain items that they also cannot do without. Kindness and compromise are key to ensuring that both people love the new house.
Identify any multiples that you and your partner have and eliminate one from each pair. For example, you probably don’t need two pressure cookers or two toaster ovens. You may not have room for two coffee tables or two sofas, either.
When I’m helping my interior design clients in Dallas, I pick the best pieces out of everything they own rather than trying to use all they have. It’s entirely possible that your space will dictate what you can and can’t keep. Once you start moving pieces into the space, you may discover that some of the most contentious items that you’re bringing in don’t fit into the floor plan anyway.
Starting with a completely blank slate is also an option. This makes more sense if you’re moving across the country. The benefit of starting new is that the two of you can shop for items together and take your time finding pieces that appeal to both of you.
5. Create Zones
Identify different rooms that can belong to just you or just your partner. For example, maybe one of you wants a man cave, a craft room, or a home office. These spaces should reflect the preferences of the person who’s going to spend the most time in them.
Don’t forget to talk about the different ways that the two of you use your spaces. Couples who like to entertain may want furniture that is easy to move around and plenty of seating. If one of you often forgets to use a coaster, maybe it’s better to buy a glass coffee table than a wood one.
6. Bring Everything Together
When you start to combine your items with your partner’s items, it may look awkward and haphazard. Try different furniture configurations before giving up on it. Keep an eye on the scales of different furniture pieces too. Your coffee table should not be significantly taller than your sofa seats, for example.
Don’t forget to leave some blank wall space, open floor space, and breathing room around furniture. This is especially important when you’re combining different styles within a room. Leaving “breathing room” around your furnishings and art will make the mixing and matching feel intentional rather than chaotic.
Remember that no home comes together overnight. It’s a good idea to leave some room for additional pieces you acquire along the way, so don’t get hung up on every little accessory. Smaller items can easily be swapped out or replaced over time if they never end up growing on you.
Merging styles with your partner becomes easier when you have a shared vision you can both get excited about. However, bringing in an interior designer could also help save you hours of discussion (and possibly prevent arguments). Any designer with experience will know how to work with newlyweds or couples moving in together, as it’s a common scenario we see in our work.
When I work with couples and families, it’s important to me that everyone who lives in the home is happy and sees themselves reflected in the space. If you're interested in working with Chambers Interiors & Associates, send an email to info@chambersinteriors.com or call 214-651-7665 to reach our Dallas office.
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